惹不起的中国游客

Jasmine Whiting

　　一对亚洲夫妻走进餐厅，胸前挂着新款相机，身后拖着学步幼童。父亲的口音泄露了他们的国籍，“三位。请。”

　　侍者们交换了熟悉的眼神，大家想的都一样，“又来了...哪个倒霉蛋来接待这一桌？”他们落座时我的心碎了：因为这家人只是单纯地进来用餐；因为其他侍者的担心往往成真；也因为我自己，被如此尴尬地夹在中间。为什么？

　　因为中国人从来不付小费。

　　中国经济的爆发直接导致国外游的超速增长；老套的挥舞和平标志的日本游客已经不再是亚洲游客的主力。中国成长中的中产阶级普遍比较年轻，受过教育，热爱奢侈品、国际旅行和所有发达世界公民们享有的优雅消费。他们讲礼貌，有教养，以几乎无懈可击的英语著称...还有不付小费。美国出生的中国人、韩国人和日本人都会付（用餐金额）15-20%的小费，正是这些日益增加的来自中华人民共和国的游客们让我们的心流血。

　　我虽然在美国长大，但我妈妈是中国人，因此我还是花了不少时间在了解中美的文化差异上。同样地，作为一名新近毕业的大学生，餐桌是各种账单的救星，我们和小费生死与共，这点我很清楚。谈到美国的小费文化，几乎可以写出一整本的社会学论文来探讨它的功过，但不论其对错，小费就是我车里的油，我同事孩子的食物；存在就是硬道理。人们光顾像我们这样的餐厅不仅仅是为了食物，还有体验，气氛和服务的需要。给很少的小费，甚至不给---是一种边缘犯罪。在搞清楚人类起源前，几乎人人都干过服务工作。

　　我的同事都明白我是美国出生和长大的人，但他们还是一脸不满地出现在我跟前。“是食物不够美味？是我的服务水平不够高？还是这是个文化上的玩意儿？”这让我处境不妙，因为不知为什么我的确觉得要为“我的人”负点责。我讨厌我的同事没法在中国游客的餐桌上赚钱，我也讨厌他们对中国游客的印象。最糟的是，我讨厌这些顾客的后知后觉。作为半个中国人，我知道这些客人一旦意识到---在美国的社会模式里---给$130元餐费的桌子留$5元小费意味着什么的话，他们一定会异常羞愧。

　　中国人很节俭，但这也是很多“传统世界”的文化---仅仅意味着存活。你去问俄国人，德国人或者爱尔兰老祖母，你会发现同样的行为标准。还有，问问那些曾经生活在美国大萧条年代的人们。在从以生存为主的社会经济环境向消费世界转型的时候，过程中我们似乎丢掉了些什么。

　　我可以尽力向我的同事解释，中国的服务行业没有“小费文化”。但我该如何解释中国人吃饭时的喧哗声？我如何让同事们习惯中国人标准的餐厅呼叫方式“服务员”？我该如何让同事们明白，中国家庭会羞愧到无地自容，一旦知道别人对他们的印象是粗鲁，无礼或者是最差的，吝啬的？

　　中国聚餐的最基本元素是过量---跟朋友、家人分享美味食物、美好回忆和好事情。我在中国吃饭的大部分时光是在家人或朋友的注视下，“多吃点！”不管我是不是被美食所累。

　　我相信天真的中国游客有义务了解更多。很明显，一旦中国游客真正理解美国小费的意义和重要性，他们一定会留下足够的小费以体现中国人的慷慨。或者是中国暴发户的心智有所改变了？发展的经济改变了世代沿袭的传统？

　　这些问题闪过我的脑袋，当我目送这个年轻家庭走出饭店、进入一辆崭新的宝马车、消失在微凉的夜色中，而为他们提供服务的侍者勉为其难地拿着很少或没有小费的账单。我想起中国的一句成语，“勤俭致富。”也许吧。但仅仅是小费就能修补文化上的冲突么？或者需要做更多事情来跨越鸿沟？（作者：Jasmine Whiting　译者：ijane）

　　原文：

　　An Asian couple walk into the restaurant, futuristic cameras slung around their necks and a toddler in tow. Accents betray their nationality as the father requests, “Three, please.”

　　The servers exchange a familiar glance. We’re all thinking the same thing, “Here we go again…who’s going to get this table?” My heart breaks a little as they are seated: it breaks for the family innocently coming in for a meal; it breaks for my fellow waitress whose fears are usually confirmed, and it breaks for myself, awkwardly caught in the middle. Why?

　　Because Chinese never tip.

　　China’s economic boom has seen foreign tourism expand to unprecedented numbers; stereotypical peace-sign-waving Japanese no longer dominate the Asian tourist population. China’s rising middle class are young, educated and crave luxury goods, international travel and all the consumer amenities that “first-world” citizens enjoy. They are polite, refined, boast near-impeccable English…and do not tip. The ABC (American-Born Chinese) that frequent the restaurant as well as the Korean and Japanese customers all contribute their 15-20%. It is the increasing volume of tourists from the People’s Republic that are tipping the scales of understanding into the red.

　　As an American with a Chinese mother, I’ve grown up in the States yet spent enough time in China to understand the cultural divisions. Likewise, as a recent college graduate waiting tables to pay the bills, I understand that we servers live and die on tips. An entire sociological dissertation could be written on the merits and drawbacks of the United States’ culture of tipping, but like it or not, it’s how I put gas in my car, how my co-workers feed their children; it’s just how it is. People are drawn to restaurants like ours for not only the food but the experience, the atmosphere and the service. To leave a small gratuity- or none at all- is borderline criminal. Anyone who has worked a service job before knows where I’m coming from.

　　My co-workers are aware that I was born and raised an American but still come to me in exasperation. “Did they not enjoy the meal? Was my service not up to par? Is it a cultural thing?” It puts me in a difficult position because I somehow do feel responsible for the behavior of “my people.” I hate that my fellow servers don’t make money on Chinese tables, and I hate the impression they receive of Chinese. Worst of all, I hate the obliviousness of the customers. Being half Chinese, I know the severe humiliation that would be suffered if the customer had any idea what the $5 tip they left on a $130 meal meant in terms of American social norms.

　　Chinese are frugal, but so are many “old world” cultures- it’s simply a means of survival. Ask any Russian, German or Irish grandparents and you’ll find the same norms. Hell, ask anyone who lived through the American Great Depression. In transitioning from a socioeconomic environment of survival to one of consumption, something is lost in translation.

　　I can do my best to explain to my coworkers that there is no “culture of gratuity” for China’s service industry. But how do I illustrate the raucous environment of the Chinese dining experience? How can I make them hear the familiar bellow of “FU WU YUANR!” (waiter!), the standard way of addressing restaurant staff? How can I make them feel the deep shame and loss of face that a family would feel if they knew they were being perceived as ungracious, impolite or worst of all, stingy?

　　The very essence of meals in China is excess- sharing good food, good memories and good fortune with family and friends. Much of my time spent eating in China was under the watchful eye of Chinese family or friends insisting, “Duo chi ba! Eat more!” whenever I surfaced from an overflowing bowl of delicacies.

　　I do believe it is the responsibility of worldly Chinese travelers to know better. Surely they are oblivious, for if Chinese truly understood the meaning and importance of tipping in the United States, they would certainly leave substantial gratuities to maintain the cultural standard of generosity. Or is the mentality of the Chinese nouveau-riche changing? Is a rising economic status altering centuries-old tradition?

　　These questions course through my mind as I watch the young family exit our restaurant and step into a glistening new BMW, driving off into the cool evening as their server reluctantly collects the bill with little or no tip. I recall the Chinese proverb, “Frugality is the mother of prosperity.” Perhaps. But could just a simple tip repair this clash of cultures? Or will it take something more to bridge the gap?